My 28th birthday is this Sunday. I'm getting closer and closer to the Big 3-0. I'm sure life still as many lessons left to teach me, but I've learned quite a bit in my almost 28 years on this planet. I wonder what I'll have to add to this list in 28 more years.
1) A lot of the folks you went to high school with are graduated from college, in the careers of their dreams, in the city they hoped they'd end up in. If you're still working on this, don't worry. Everyone has their own journey and comparing mine to someone else's will only make you miserable.
2) When you're 21 and barely legal to drink, it's perfectly okay to spend your weekends puking in dirty club bathrooms and doing silly things you won't remember later. When you're 28, it's pathetic and kinda sad.
3) Cartoon character tattoos (like Winnie the Pooh) are never okay at any age.
4) Rebound flings are fine, but make sure they *stay* rebound flings. Making them into a relationship is a terrible idea pretty much all the time.
5) Did you have a shitty childhood? I did, and while it sucks, I made peace with it. There comes a time when you have to stop blaming your parents and realise you're an adult, therefore you're responsible for your choices.
6) If your shitty childhood won't stop bothering you, get therapy.
7) People will say just about ANYTHING to get you to sleep with them.
8) Bring baked goods to the office every now and then (bonus points if they're homemade) and you'll be popular.
9) Quit going out to eat all the damn time. It's expensive and unhealthy. Suck it up and cook your own food. If you don't have time, make time.
10) Spend more time reading and less time watching TV. You'll be much more interesting, your vocabulary will expand and your imagination will grow.
11) Do something out of your comfort zone. It keeps life exciting and will help you overcome your fears. For me, it's really hard to talk to strangers so I make it a goal to say hi to a stranger every day.
12) Don't keep around a toxic friend just because you feel sorry for them, or because you've known them for years and feel like you owe them. Cut them out of your life and you'll be much happier.
13) It's better to have a small group of good friends who will always be there for you rather than lots of acquaintances that you never see.
14) Stop being so self conscious. No one is paying attention anyway. They're too focused on themselves to notice you.
15) Many people never really grow up; they're stuck in junior high/high school popularity contest. I've seen middle aged women act like catty 13-year-olds. I've seen grown men act like bullies on a schoolyard playground.
16) If you haven't already, start taking care of your skin now. This means cleanse, tone, moisturise. Day cream with SPF during the day, night cream before you go to bed. You can't fight wrinkles forever, but you can have healthy, moisturised skin.
17) Don't feel bad if your biological clock hasn't started going haywire yet. (I'm pretty sure mine is broken.)
18) As you get older, losing weight gets harder. There's a good chance that if you're fat now, you may always be fat. Changing this will be a lot of work, but it will pay off in the end.
19) Stop reading beauty magazines. They just make you feel bad about yourself. Start reading magazines like Mental Floss. At least you'll learn something that doesn't involve finding the perfect shade of lipstick or giving your man the perfect blowjob.
20) Oh, and if you've reached the age of 28 without knowing how to give a good blowjob... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
21)It's true that you may never forget your first love, but for heaven's sake, don't waste time chasing those feelings with every person you meet afterward. When you're a teenager everything feels new and exciting. When you get older and you've had a few heartbreaks, love feels a lot different but that doesn't make it any less meaningful or wonderful.
22) No matter how old you get, your parents will always consider you their baby. And your mum will always have the power to make you feel like you're five years old. Don't try to fight it, just accept it.
23) Sometimes people just won't like you. Hell, some people may just hate you on sight. This doesn't necessarily make the other person a bad person, or mean you have some fundamental defect. It just means someone doesn't like you. Move on.
24) The teenage version of you would cringe at this thought, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with dressing for comfort and not fashion. Jeans, a giant hoodie and comfy sneaks 24/7? Sure, why not? (Bonus points if the comfy sneaks are Keds.)
25) As you get older, hangovers suck more. In your early 20s you could usually fight them with Gatorade and a good breakfast, but now they require spending the whole day in bed.
26) Getting carded at bars and clubs makes you feel awesome. "I don't look old enough to be here?... You have to card everyone? Dammit, just let me have this!"
27) Your younger friends will sometimes annoy you with their naivete and your older friends will annoy you when they say "Well, when I was your age..."
28) Life is one big, beautiful, chaotic mess. You will rarely get everything you want. The trick is to be happy with everything you have.
---M. Dos Santos
